Monthly Archives: May 2008

A SIMPLE DATE

A simple date

That’s all I ask

To see a show

And raise a glass

To share a bit

And laugh a lot

Too much to ask

I say it’s not

A simple date

To spend some time

With someone nice

Who thinks that I’m

Worth talking to

Perhaps a kiss

A hug or two

Too much to wish

A dream come true

© 2008 Beth NoLastName

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PAIN PASSES

There is no painless dentistry
Without drugs
And there is no painless loving
Without drugs
Saying no to drugs
Means there will be pain

But sometimes…and more and more often
The pain passes quickly
And is followed by laughter at myself
And life around me

Thank You, God, I wear dentures now!
I can concentrate solely
On dealing with the pain of love

(c) 2008 Beth NoLastName

Author’s note: Usually by the time I remember to say Ouch! The pain is already gone. I’m to the point I can stop and tell a joke in the middle of an argument. Color me loving life!

THE EXTREME GEEK’S GUIDE TO DATING

1. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but if there is a mountain between the two points, and one is walking, there are times that going the long way around may prove to be, not only less exhausting than trying to go in a straight line, but also, in the long run, the shortest distance. True, one could tunnel through the mountain, but by the time that operation is completed the reason one was traveling from one point to another may no longer be valid.

2. 2×1=2 1+1=2 I can work on a project on Saturday and Sunday or I can work with another on Saturday and we can both take a break on Sunday. If I feel restless when I have a whole day to myself, I can work on a project by myself on Sunday. I could also make plans with the same person that I worked with Saturday and find something to do that isn’t work. When loneliness is factored out, good humor often rushes in to fill the void.

3. A dog is not as intelligent as I am. I cannot teach calculus to a dog. The dog does not care what I know or don’t know. The dog will, though, do what I train it to do within it’s capabilities, regardless of my manner of teaching it. The dog wants to learn. I can experiment with the dog. I can watch it’s expressions and see what posture it takes as I try different tones of voice in giving a command. The dog can be used as a firewall to keep intrusive humans outside the home and away from my computer. If I laugh, cry or occassionally pet the dog, it won’t tell anyone. My sense of emotional privacy will remain intact.

4. A woman is more intelligent than a dog, but not as predictable. (Refer to #1) A woman will place an expectation that we spend time together away from my work. (Refer to #2) A woman will care more about the tone of my voice when I speak to her than what I have to say. (Refer to #3) At this point it is important to reconsider the dog. The same dog that acts as firewall may now act as a buffer between a woman and me. If the dog likes the woman, there is a chance that I might, too. If the woman likes the dog, there’s a chance that she may like me. If I like the woman, the woman likes the dog, the dog likes the woman, but the woman doesn’t like me, the dog will still like me anyway, and the two of us can go off alone together and keep one another company.

(c) 2006 Beth NoLastName

ONE WORD WISDOM

In Spanish the word meaning

I don’t know

Is

Nosè

Pronounced NO-SAY

A wise language: Spanish

When we don’t know

We are best to keep our mouths

Shut

© 2007 Beth NoLastName

AS WE FORGIVE OTHERS

Robert Two Tears

Told me it is true

Each tattoo stands for someone

Murdered

But they are 25 years old

And he still feels the pain of the deed

He was but a child then

Wanting to be a man

Children err

I know another without tattoos

Who killed the men who raped his sister

No justification for murder

But surely a moment’s compassion

For those whose passion

Robbed them of their youth

There but for the grace of God…

© 2008 Beth NoLastName

Real people can mature, if they so choose, but first must let go of childish way and regret some decisions of the past. The person each of us MUST forgive first in this life is ourself. Once we can do that, forgiving others who have experienced the same sorrow comes natrually.

UPSIDE DOWN CLOWN

I roam downtown with my bag and my laptop

Tapping into wireless connections on the run

In businesses that don’t pay for hook up

Someone stole the router

From the public library

Where the connection is paid for

And meant to be a gift to the public

The humor of opposites continues to invade my life

Nothing what it appears to be

Very little functioning as intended

The fun in dysfunction

Saving my sanity

© 2008 Beth NoLastName

GANGSTA GRANDMA

White woman on Perry Street
Hey Auntie You straight
Straight longer than you’ve been alive
And your mama too
Hey Baby What’s up
My age that’s what
Old enough to be your grandma
Lady from the suburbs
Gives me a ride home
I tell her I live in the richest part of the city
Kids on my block carry rolls larger than their fists
Drug route a better profit than newspapers
Hop on your bike
Ride around the corner and hand the man in the car
A little bag
Beats carrying a sack full of shit that’s heavy
Kids on my block are the news
They don’t pedal papers
They fill their pages from front to obit
That ain’t no water pistol, Mister
Walk tall or don’t walk at all
At least not on Perry Street
Doing time means you got stupid
The next kid will take your spot
Leave the money in a safe
So it takes more time for someone to get it
‘Cuz you know in your gut
Ain’t no one can be trusted
It’s one for all and all for none
On Perry Street
Wanna’ be a hero
Get dead
They hang a sheet out with your name on it
And wear their colors
Mama dressed in black
Your friends in red
They talk about you for a day or two
Maybe even take down the guy that got you
And then it’s business as usual
On Perry Street

© 2006 Beth NoLastName

It took time for those who lived in the neighborhood to accept me as one of them, but it’s been five years now and I am “GG” to the young people here. They know I know. They know I care. It’s all they need to know. Racial differences and cultural differences don’t mean anything to young people. They only want to know if you are real and if you appreciate they are real. I am. I do. They know.